And I was waiting for it to appear.
I was waiting for your face to remind me of your words.
I was waiting for a proof you live;
that you had something similar to me going on.
I’m not sure I wanted to see what that was.
I’m not sure I wanted to see who shared that with you.

I’m not sure I wanted to see if you had more fun than me.
I’m not sure if I should’ve pressed on the X, in the corner.
I’m not sure if I should’ve stopped torturing myself.
Who the fuck are you?
Where the fuck are you?
When the fuck will you?
Why the fuck do you?

I hate you so much.
I despise you like I love my own flesh.
I finally took you out of my skin.
I was wearing you like fur.
I was wearing you like a dead animal.
I was wearing you like blood and veins.

I spat you like bitter spirits.
I swallowed you like creamy milk.
I tasted you like a candy someone had dropped in dirt.

You were trying your sweet revenge on me.
You were exposing the ‘what if’s’.
You were hurting me on purpose.
You were trying to make me hate you.
You got so distant and arrogant, but your arrogance wasn’t attractive anymore.
It was now repulsive and harsh.
You took me for granted, like if talking to me was a chore;
and you never even gathered.

I’m happy my feelings were wrong.
I’m happy you cut me out.
I don’t wish things happened differently.
I’m happy I never got to tell you those words I would’ve regretted.

“I wish it could go away, that tomorrow, you’d just be today’s crush.
I wish you wouldn’t feel the same.
I wish I didn’t fall for you this bad.
and I wish more than anything else
that I wouldn’t even have to wish.”

Well, my wishes got granted.