I have a long way to go again, if I’m lucky enough not to get hit by a car, and I’m scared of when all this is going to stop. I’m scared of aging and growing up and getting older to the point where I have to be an “adult”. I don’t want to see the day when going to clubs I go now is going to be inappropriate, when wearing what I wear right now is going to be considered eccentric, when being lazy and immature is going to be called “irresponsable”. I’m afraid of what will happen of me; when people are going to stop finding me the least bit attractive, when my breasts are going to start to sag, when my musical taste is going to be outdated for the new generation, except for the old school kids who are going to listen to our old songs on CDs. I wonder what I’m going to be like when I’m all old and hopeless, what’s going to be weird about me, what experience I’m going to have, how the bad things of life are going to show on my face, my eyes and my hands. Then what? How’s it going to be when I start to lose everyone i have, one by one, asking myself when’s it going to be my turn. What’s going to happen when I die? I’ll just be memories who’ll eventually fade out? I’ll just be disappearing atoms in space and time? I’ll just wander in the emptyness? I don’t want to stop existing, to start being good rememberance.
And nothing else.